resolved; unemployment

Who uses a semicolon in a title? The sophisticated; the bluthering; the anti-establishment; et. al.

But bollocks! My business is to punctuate something more practical:

•  I just left my job.
•  I have a degree in journalism.
•  I refuse to buy a smartphone. 

And so, I must submit to the common directive that today's young journalists have blogs. Blogs that foist their impulsive keystrokes across your scrutinous and impatient eyeballs.

Studies of these blogs have yet to reveal their utility, and this one is polling insignificant viewership data at this very line.

But codswallop! Here are my admirable, resume-driven goals:

• Entertain (with pizzazz) the most pressing question: What's your next move?
• Participate in my own case study of leaving one job before finding another occupation.
• Be ecstatic. Through the whole bit.

Who uses a period to punctuate ecstasy? A modern journalism grad with a blog, that's who. Up and at 'em!

2014's greatest Internet quip thus far

"I noticed a woman using a contraption to get water at the far end of the counter."

Veronique L., Yelp Review of La Colombe, Feb. 3, 2014

Amongst other brilliant and telling observations, mostly about the existence of people in the alleyways surrounding this coffee shop, Ms. L. has also discovered the notion of water dispensers (perhaps a throw-back faucet, even). Thanks and praise to you, Ms. L., for the best, and most useful, prose of our collective Internet life this calendar year.