gnus of the day

Have you ever read the gnu? No, not the gnus. I mean, just one, singular gnu.

That's what I thought. And herein lies the problem with our gnus media today: all herd, no homeliness; all hegemon, no hungry man; all homo-, no hetero-.*

Plain and simple, we've lost the gnu. The new gnus are just "gnus" gnus, and no gnus are good gnus.

If you're not seeing my point, think about the old gnus and how gnu they were for their time; now think about how non-re-gnu-able they've become.

Shocking, I know. To realize that if we don't rediscover our gnu media we'll quickly become slaves to the shallow gnusings of radio gnus, television gnus and huffy internet gnus.

It's not too late to repent, gnus-men and -women. Click off your gnus stream, burn your gnuspapers and find your gnu self.

I'll be there for every step of your journey, so if you're already stifling fires of hatred for my prose, get out while you still can.
*speaking of which, no hetero brosef!